It Caught Me Off-guard...

Was talking to a friend exactly a week ago..
About how come she's still single.
Even though,she's one gal tat would have guys lining anytime.
(If you're interested, go find out yourself)
Her answer was simple,the right guy wasn't there yet.
Yea,she being a gal of ACTS Church I kinda expected more.
(Expressed my disappointment then)
(Which i shouldn't have done,Cause...)

She then asked me if there's someone i liked.
Before I even open my big mouth,
my really good best friend(who was driving) said yes.
The question evolved to who is it?(more hints from my driver)
Man,I really felt like killing her there n then,then kill myself.
But the issue remains,I've to answered tat question.
Never tot I'd have tat problem from Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar".
After a long struggling,panting,thinking and trying to escape.
I lost.
I told the whole story which I normally wouldn't to anyone else.
My so called Love Struggles. Disappointment.Dilemma.Embarrassment.
Powerlessness.Seeking Help.Rehabilitation.Depression.New Hope.
Wats the whole story?Ask me.

It did get me thinking.
Why i was in tat kind of situation tat i set myself up. (Or Somebody else)
Why was i hurtin to love someone n be loved back.
Why my so called perfect plan came undone because of feelins i tot controlled.
Why I felt so stupid every time i see her.
Why did God put tat in me.
Why now i feel better after leavin all that.

It was not easy goin through all that.
Thx to Dave Yeow,who helped me at the peak of my confusion.
Kinda depressed for 2 weeks or more.
But it did teach a thing or two.

God finally revealed(again)am i able to put my faith in Him again.
To trust Him in bringin the right girl at the right time.
Not to be pressured by my surroundings.
To take encouragement of people who are still doing the right thing.
Not to hurt yourself and people tat you love.

It wasn't easy.But i got through it.
Thank God for people like Dave whom i'm able to confide,
cause he's a leader and a guy in a relationship.
Thank God for leading me in this.

Back ere,Back Home.

Hey i'm back for the holidays!!
Penang!!Food!!Girls...........none.
Not tat crazy bout it.
Valentines come and gone.
Stayed at home.Din even knew it came.
Got a Valentine msg though.
no its not a "love sms"
Its an "appreciation sms"
Thx!!

<->

Tot bout da thing called love for while.
I think love is self-gratifying.
Don't think so?
When the last time you love someone just because u love that person?
And not expecting something back?
Never happened?Good you're normal.
Each time you love someone,
you'll wanna (consciously/unconsciously) want something back.
Think...Tat time when u ever love someone.
What happened?
U wish tat person did something.Show u a sign.
A kiss?a hug?or even sex?
Ladies and gentlemen tats love.
But..
this's one way to look at it.
Love's heartbreakin when u dun get a response.
Love's heartbreakin when u get pushed away.
Love's heartbreakin when u can't give to get.
Love's heartbreakin when u want to but can't.
Love's heartbreakin when u find out its not love.
Love's heartbreakin when u can't love no more.

Yeah,i dun hav one and i dun think i'll wanna one anytime soon.
I dun think i'll need it soon anyways.
There's da possibility tat i'll neva hav one?
Then tats fate i guess.none of my business.
I've had it been push around by love.
Feelings not da way to live by.

<->

Ok tat sounds like i'm desperate for love thoroughly heartbroken.
i'm not, i assure you.At least tats how i feel bout love for now.
Heh..
Those still in love...No offence to u guys.
Appreciated it while it last.
Now i'll wanna concentrate loving tat GUY up there.
Then maybe i'll find something.

<->

Hmm..
I guess i'll comment bout various events in my life after this.
heh.look for it.